Forgiveness & Restoration

We were having problems, we weren't perfect. I mean who is. Engaged longer than we could stand but still not ready. Constant arguments, fights, and our own rendition of Ike and Tina. We weren't ready but young and dumb we pressed on. He didn't like my friends but that much control I didn't give him, so angry about a night out on the town he took vengence into his own hands. Told me the next morning how the night before he let the smooth talk of another woman cause him to lose his footing. My heart dropped as my seemingly perfect world begin to crumble all at once. Couldn't believe that the man I thought I wanted to marry had hurt me, betrayed me, shamed me, and who eventually caused me to turn my back on God. See since the beginning of that year, my relationship with God had grown. Praying everyday and making sure to enter into His presence was like 2nd nature. I did it without pause. But when God decided to open my eyes to the seemingly obvious, instead of thanking Him, and showing my gratitude, I turned my back on Him. I became angry with God for showing me this. My prayer life ceased. I felt that if I continued to pray, that God would begin to reveal more hurtful things, and I didn't want to know. So I strayed, never praying, and when He would lay on my heart to pray, I'd turn on the television to quiet the voice. Eventually I took the betrayer back into my heart never blaming him again for his transgressions but still blaming God for allowing it to happen. Years passed and my relationship with God was never again where it once was. I struggled to make the commitment to Him that I once had, but something was always standing in my way. I often quote the scripture "Ye did run well, what did hinder you?" I could answer that question swiftly.
Things didn't get any better. I  was still unhappy and deep inside of me knew that this one was NOT my one. But how do you leave when you've turned your back on real love? So I stayed, put up with the lies, the anger, the inmaturity until one night my betrayer abandoned me, leaving me all alone in the darkness of the night. That was my breaking point. I couldn't understand why that man who I thought was suppose to protect and cover me left me to fight for myself that night. So 4 days later when I saw him again, I kindly handed him his rings, told him this was not working, and walked away.
It has taking me a long time to allow God to fully restore my hurt, pain, and transgression towards Him, but He has. Since I've let go and gave myself completely over to Him, restoration and revival has taking place within me and around me. Blessings and miracles seems to follow me where ever I go. He's given dreams and visions of the blessings He has in store for me if I stay on His path. I sit back sometimes and just remember how God saved me from a loveless marriage. He saved me from having to be yoked and connected to someone who was not apart of my NEXT, not apart of my destiny. And I've come to realize that just because there are people who cross your path, doesn't mean God intended them to walk the path with you. Sometime we have to learn how to say 'Hey" and Keep It Moving. It took time for restoration to take place. But it wasn't because I was waiting on God to restore, it was because God was waiting on me to accept the restoration that He had already given.
We all fall short of the glory, we aren't perfect, but we should be striving to be. Accept the restoration God has given. He has already forgiven us for turning our backs on Him, and blaming Him when He was only trying to help. Forgive yourself because God has already forgiven you.

The Lord Delivers

Woke up this Sunday morning unsatisfied with the weakness I allowed the enemy to find. Dragging around the house not looking forward to going into the presence of the Lord because of my shame. So finally I make it to church and God calls for a seed offering. At first I wasn't going to give it. I wanted to hold on to the little money I had, but then I thought "Sow out of your need" And at that moment I didn't need more money although I could have used it, I needed God to strengthen me where I was weak. So I quickly asked the ushers for a envelope and stuffed my seed offering in. Before I could even make it to the front to place my offering in the offering basket tears began to scroll down my face. I needed God to move on my behalf like never before. So seed sown and within the next few weeks I was looking for a monetary gift from God. So I began to remind God of what His word said, sow and you shall reap...and right at that moment of sadness, confusion, and tears, God spoke so clearly and said "You sowed your seed so that I could strengthen you in your weakness, you forfeited the monetary gift for a spiritual one, so why are you questioning me? Who gave you the right to question me?" And at that moment I felt like the most foolish person in the world. Questioning the most high God, and He had did what I asked him to do. he had given me the strength I needed to overcome that weakness.
So I said all that to say this, NEVER question God. Like He asked Job, WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I DID ALL THESE WONDERFUL THINGS? No where to be found! God is a God who always comes through. He may not come on your time but He's always ON TIME! Trust and believe that if your heart is sincere towards Him, He will come through for you.

God bless people

No weapon formed against me

It started like any other day. Nothing special but still grateful to be able to have a "nothing special" day. Got a call from a worker who needed a ride, so I jumped in the car to go pick her up. Had a bright idea as I was reaching the end of the drive way, "Why not kill two birds with one stone?" I decided to run by the bank before picking up the already late worker. So I arrive at the banks atm machine, roll down my window, and stick my card into the slot. Looking for more money to deposit, I suddenly hear the sound of change or keys, so as I look behind me I don't see anyone for a minute, then all of a sudden a mask man covered in white shirts appear at the side of my car, and before I knew it he was holding a gun to the back of my head and screaming to give him all my cash. Now me being caught off guard screams "take it." He then notices that my card has been inserted into the atm machine and demands that I take out $500 and give to him. Now because I have a angry side to me and have just been bum-rushed by a hostile stranger, I start to yell at him that I don't have $500 and thats why I am at the bank. While I'm screaming out loud, in my head I'm repenting of all sins committed. See i believed that if that was going to be my last day on earth that I better make sure that my place in heaven had been reserved. So as soon as I repented I screamed out "Jesus", and immediately the hostile stranger holding a gun to my head, snatched the cash from my lap and ran away.

Now I know who protected me from a tragic ordeal, JESUS! The day before this all happened, which was Sunday, a word came to me from the  Lord, Psalms 23:1-4 "The Lord is my Shephard...Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me... See God had already prepared me for Monday's events and I was ever so thankful that he did.

You see as long as you stay in God's will and stay on the path He has chosen for you, He will protect you. He is the best protection you could ever have.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper, IT WONT WORK!!!